The Dursley Journal
by desertforest21
Summary: Harry has been placed at Grimmauld place for the summer before his fifth year. Sirius, meanwhile, has his suspicions over how Harry is being treated at Number 4, Privet Driv. Harry is reluctant to talk, so Sirius strikes him a deal... Please Review! Rated T for child abuse!
1. Chapter 1

It was a week after Harry had first gotten to Grimmauld Place. Sirius walked towards Ron and Harry's room, knocking three times, hearing a hushed conversation.

"Come in." he heard Harry call.

Sirius cracked open the door.

"Harry, can I talk to you? It won't take long." Said Sirius with a smile. Harry got up quickly, following Sirius to the Family tree room. They sat down across each other, on couches placed around a coffee table.

Sirius stared into his godson's sparkling emerald eyes. He never really could get over how much he looked like James and Lily, in behavior, as well. Sirius had been suspecting things for a while, ever since Hagrid told him the state he'd been in when he'd first met Harry.

"Harry, I want you to answer me honestly- Have the Dursley's ever abused you while you stayed?" Harry shifted uncomfortably, not meeting his eyes, glancing at the floor. He practically choked when he saw the apprehension, almost fear on his godson's face.

"Harry, I'll make you a deal, okay? I tell you of my guardians, you of yours." He nodded, still staring at the floor.

"Heads or tails, who goes first," said Sirius, getting out a trick muggle coin. "I call heads." He flipped it, and it landed tails.

"Bad luck, Harry," He said cheerfully.

Harry took a deep breath and stared down at his butterbeer. He took another deep breath. He took a sip of butterbeer.

"Can I go get something? I swear I'll come back," mumbled Harry, "It'll help me explain." I nod and sit in some anxiety- what would make the Boy Who Lived nervous? He came back downstairs, holding a battered journal. He handed it to Sirius.

"I call it "The Dursley Journal". It should help explain."

Sirius opened the black-and-white cover and began reading.

_To whoever's reading this-_

_If I've just given this to you, you've just asked about my childhood at the Dursley's. All of the things in this journal are true, whether you like it or not._

_Please don't run off and hex/jinx/murder the Dursley's when you read this._

_Harry._

_I've lived in the cupboard under the stairs for a long time._

"WHAT? You slept in a CUPBOARD?" Sirius exploded. Harry frowned a bit and made a gesture that clearly meant, _keep reading._

_I got out of there when I got my first letter from Hogwarts. I was given Dudley's second bedroom, filled with his old/broken/ever been touched toys. Basically, at the Dursley's, I was their personal house-elf. _Sirius growled as he read. How dare they treat his godson, Lily and James's son, in this awful way? Wasn't Petunia Lily's sister?

_A pre-Hogwarts day would normally go like this: Petunia would scream and slam on the door to wake me up. I would go to school where everyone would ignore me from fear that Dudley's gang would beat them up. Even the teachers never paid me much attention. I, however, was not that lucky. Some days, I would outrun his gang. Others, well, I managed the injuries._

Harry noticed that Sirius kept up a constant growling while reading. He wondered how he would react to his second year summer.

_I had a list of chores to do weekly and daily pasted on the door facing he inside of the cupboard. I would take care of the garden Mondays, vacuum and clean Tuesdays, mop and dust on Wednesdays, so on and so forth. I was given extra on special occasions. If I did anything just a little bit wrong, they would give Dudley free reign and mainly beat me with things. Most holidays, Christmas and Easter and my birthday, I would normally be given old socks or household items, like hangers and q-tips. The most generous thing I've ever been given by the Dursley's on a holiday was a fifty-pence piece, which I gave to Ron, since he liked the shape. _

Sirius smiled slightly at that. Harry was so generous and- even though it wasn't a particularly manly trait- sweet.

_Once I got my first letter, my uncle ripped it up and gave me the second bedroom to test if we were being watched. Eventually, he became incredibly paranoid and started moving around a lot. Hagrid found me on the Hut on the Rock. He gave me my first cake and my first real present, Hedwig. He gave Dudley a pig's tail, which was quite hilarious, and made the Dursley's absolutely terrified of wizards. _

Sirius chuckled at that.

_My second summer back, on my birthday, Uncle Vernon was talking about a huge business dinner with a builder and his wife. I wasn't going to attend. I was to "Stay in my room, making no noise and pretending I don't exist." Unfortunately, I was visited by Dobby, who dropped a pudding on the floor. The Ministry thought it was me, so they sent an owl with a warning. Another stroke of bad luck, because the builder's wife was deathly afraid of birds. Uncle Vernon was furious, and paid a man to fit bars over my window-_

_"WHAT!_ HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU HAD BETTER POINT ME IN THE DIRECTION OF PRIVET DRIVE-"

"If that makes you mad, read the next part," muttered Harry.

_-And fitted a catflap over my door to put in 2 meals a day. He said that I'd never go to Hogwarts again._

Sirius was so angry, he couldn't even talk. Instead, he made choking noises and gestures. He just kept reading.

_Ron, Fred and George, luckily, rescued me. I spent the rest of the summer at the Weasley's. Third year summer, I still had chores, and they'd still punish me if I got one detail off, but there were less. Aunt Marge, Vernon's sister, was insulting my mother and father, so my accidental magic kind of took over, and I blew her up like a balloon. I didn't get any punishment, since Fudge was wrongly worried that Sirius had murdered me. Fourth year summer was pretty bad. Increased chores, increased punishments, fewer meals. Mr. Weasley, Fred, George, and Ron came via Floo to get me for the Quidditch World Cup. Fred and George used Ton-Tongue toffee to expand Dudley's tongue to four feet long before they let Mr. Weasley fix it. Fifth year summer, basically ignored. Dudley was with his gang, which smoked on street corners, beat up 10-year-olds, and threw stones at passing cars and children. I was placed at Grimmauld Place, with Sirius. _

Sirius looked at his godson, and shut the journal.

"I'm speaking to Dumbledore. Can I keep this for him?"

"Yeah, sure, but it's not that big of a deal-"

"Harry! IT IS A BIG DEAL! Do Ron and Hermione know?"

"I, um, they, er, only know the pieces they've seen." Said Harry quickly. Sirius nodded slowly.

"I told your dad, Peter, and Remus." Harry nodded.

"Thanks, Sirius. It kind of helps, talking, doesn't it?" Sirius nodded slowly.

**A/N- Hey! Thanks for reading! I'll add a few more chapters. I'm not sure how long this will be, but I guess it just depends on where the story goes! Please review! You shall receive butterbeer and Fizzing Whizbees!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- Wow! Thanks, all of you, for favoriting/following The Dursley Journal and me! So sorry I haven't really updated, I've been ultra busy, even for summer standards. I won't bore you with my schedule; so enjoy these Cauldron Cakes and butterbeer, to be furious at the Dursley's for mistreating our very favorite black-haired savior of the Wizarding World! Enjoy!**

Sirius glanced at Harry as he left. He did seem kind of nervous, so Sirius cracked open the journal and took a closer look. He realized that there was more written, in less composed handwriting, obviously from Harry was very young.

_Dear Journal,_

_Can I call you Journie? Or Journa? Something to make you sound more like human. _(**A/N- Leave a review what you want Harry to call his journal. He's around 6 or 7 when he writes this, so no incredibly complicated things!)** _I heard that keeping a journal is good if you have problems at home. I don't really get why, since I don't like bringing up home. My Uncle Vernon (he hit me with his belt when I called him Vernie two years ago) and my Aunt Petunia don't treat me like they do Dudley. He gets two bedrooms and I get my cupboard. He gets 37 or more presents every year for his birthday and I get old things. Most of my chores Mrs. Figg says are "An elaborate endangerment to their thaturgian nephew." When I asked her what all those words meant, she just blushed and told me to look at her picture of Mr. Fluffles. Most of the time, I get beaten with his belt or a pan by Aunt Petunia._

Sirius could feel his heart breaking as he realized how far back Harry's abuse went. He was going to murder them for harming his godson.

_And Dudley, with Piers and the others, normally beat me a lot whenever they can catch me. I think avoiding it just makes it worse every time. I cant help it though- remembering the pain just makes me so scared, so I run away and calm myself down. Even at school, which I've only been at for a year or so, my teachers don't really care about me the way they do the other kids. They don't care if Dudley and his gang catch me in the middle of the hall, they'll only stop them if someone else gets involved. Which barely happens, because no one wants to get on the bad side of Dudley. _

Sirius was going to have to hex every last one of his classmates and teachers from Harry's old school. He noticed that it was past midnight, and snapped shut the journal. He was going to have to read the rest of this tomorrow, and tell Dumbledore of the Dursley's terrible treatment of Harry. Maybe inform the Weasley's and Hermione of it, if Harry agreed.

**A/N- Sorry it's so short! Review and receive Honeyduke's best!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Have I mentioned how incredible I feel whenever you review? No? Well, now you know! So boost a person's self esteem and leave me some reviews about what I did you liked, what you didn't, what you think should be added in! I take every review into consideration! Enjoy these Cauldron Cakes and butterbeers!**

Sirius woke up the next morning with determination burning throughout him. He was going to convince Harry to go into deeper detail, and have to tell him of his own childhood, as well. He'd also have to get Ron and Hermione in on it, whether Harry liked it or not. Since Sirius knew James, Lily, and Harry, they all three had something in common- they would minimize their own suffering. His marauder mind began to take over….

Later that day, he went up to Ron and Hermione, handing them Extendable Ears. "Drawing room, 8 o'clock. Listen closely."

Harry and Sirius convened in the sitting room. Harry glanced apprehensively at his godfather, who had a sly look on his face. Sirius had also left the door slightly cracked open.

"Now, Harry, I'm kind of fuzzy on a few details- just answer the questions I ask okay? Now, let me get this straight- there is most certainly and abusive relationship- not only having the things Ron and Hermione have seen, but hitting and other forms of abuse, like hitting you, starving you, and treating you like a house elf. Right?" Harry mumbled an affirmative.

"No one really cared about the bullying at school, including the teachers, correct?"

"Yeah. Sirius, you were totally crazy about this yesterday, I don't really see how you'd forgotten…"

'Just one more question. You slept under the stairs in the cupboard for 10 years?"

"Yeah, but-"

That was all Harry managed to get in before an infuriated Hermione burst into the room, brown eyes blazing, her frizzy hair practically crackling with electricity. Ron followed, looking mad and also slightly pitying.

Harry, meanwhile, was attempting to stammer out an explanation while Hermione was going on a Molly Weasley-ish tirade-

"Harry! How could you have not told us! You need to tell us about your past, you should have never kept it a secret!"

On and on she ranted, Harry shrinking away from her angry glare, staring at her carefully. Sirius realized, with a jolt, that Harry was expecting a form of abuse from her. Sirius intervened gently, grabbing Hermione's wrist and fixing her a careful look that clearly said _Trust me on this one. Calm down. _So Hermione sat next to Ron, still glaring at Harry.

"Harry, mate, why didn't you tell us?" Came the quiet voice of Ron.

"I- I- I just didn't want to s-say with everything we had going on. It- it didn't seem important."

"_Not important?" _Hermione thundered. Harry shrank back again. Sirius, still standing, laid a calming hand on Hermione's. She glanced up at him and settled sulkily back into the cushions.

"Harry, is it okay if I read them the journal?" asked Sirius brightly. Harry sent him a glare- _I know you're behind this._ So Sirius read aloud the journal.

"Blimey, mate- I knew it was bad when we found you with bars on your window, but never _that_ bad." Ron said finally as they finished. Hermione looked less angry, more sympathetic, since she herself had been bullied. But never as badly as Harry described, and-"Oh God."

"What?" Harry asked, staring at the horror-stricken Hermione, making sure she wasn't injured.

"Harry, I know you- and you _always_ minimize your suffering." Sirius smiled slightly at her. She had understood what he had wanted her to. Harry looked a little bit fearful, as if she had discovered some kind of awful secret. Sirius, of course, then proceeded to add in, casually, "Harry, you didn't tell me about the other section of your journal when you gave it to me." Harry stared at his godfather, horror-stricken. Harry had written some of the most brutal abuse, no softening of the facts.

"Other section?" asked Hermione, fascinated. Sirius still holding the journal, offered casually, "Is it okay if they read it, Harry? I haven't really gotten that far yet." Hermione cut in, "You don't have a choice, Harry. I'll read that, even if I have to steal it from you." Harry sighed, and mumbled something under his breath about evil traitor godfathers and evil best friends. So Sirius read aloud the section had read last night, with the occasional comment, outburst, or calming phrase.

"…_And Dudley, with Piers and the others, normally beat me a lot whenever they can catch me. I think avoiding it just makes it worse every time. I cant help it though- remembering the pain just makes me so scared, so I run away and calm myself down. Even at school, which I've only been at for a year or so, my teachers don't really care about me the way they do the other kids. They don't care if Dudley and his gang catch me in the middle of the hall, they'll only stop them if someone else gets involved. Which barely happens, because no one wants to get on the bad side of Dudley. _That's as far as I got last night, Harry." Sirius added. He continued, noting the slightly relieved look on Harry's face.

"_Dear Journal, who I still need a name for, _

_Sorry if my handwriting is really messy today, but my arm is twisted funny and is really swollen. Yesterday, Dudley pushed me down the stairs, and I landed in the laundry Aunt Petunia was doing the laundry. She hit me with the frying pan-"_

Hermione silently glared at the book, waiting for the big reveal.

"_And told Dudley to keep pushing me down the stairs. I just tried to run away, but then they put me in the cupboard. I haven't really eaten anything in the past few days."_

Hermione walked out of the room. Harry, Ron, and Sirius remained silent. 10 minutes later, she walked back into the room, holding an abundance of food. There were Honeyduke's candies, bags of chips (**Crisps, for those of you in Great Britain), **and some beef jerky. She handed some to Ron, some to Sirius, and a little to herself. The lion's share went to Harry, who stared down at the food. She sat, arms crossed, staring at him expectantly.

"When you wrote to us last summer, to tell us to get you cakes, I started getting a little suspicious. Now I know for sure. Eat, or I will hex this food to keep hitting you over the head until you eat it." The corner of Harry's mouth quirked up and he began eating some chips.

"And, um…" added Hermione.

"WHAT?" came an angry voice.

**A/N- Was anyone off? Did they act like you suspected? Please let me know if I'm doing something wrong, or if I'm doing something great! I need some feedback!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Thanks a million for all of the favoriting/following of this story and me! I feel so happy whenever I open up my email and I see a ton of fanfiction email. On to the story, which is about to get a bit dark. You're going to feel awful for Harry… Go on, read!**

Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Weasley, Fred and George, and Ginny stride into the room. Mrs. Weasley looked pretty furious, and the other redheads just looked confused.

"Sorry- I had to tell her, or she wouldn't have given me the food!" squeaked Hermione

"What's this about?" asked Ginny, looking at the three and Sirius. Harry threw his hands into the air.

"Go on, just- just read without me. I need a bit of air, okay?" He walked out of the room. Ron made to follow, but Hermione laid a hand on his. They both flushed, and Ron sat down. They then proceeded to not look at each other and scoot apart on the couch.

Sirius explained what had happened, and the Weasleys stared at the door. Silently, Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley both conjured armchairs for one person each. Sirius, George, Fred, and Mr. WeasleySirius opened the journal and read aloud the next entry,

"_Dear Journal, I still need to find a name for you,_

_My arm just recently got casted, since I couldn't prune the bushes outside the house. Of course, now I just spend more time in the cupboard because of it." _A variety of growls came from around the room.

"_Yesterday, something really weird happened. I was at school, and my teacher was ignoring me, as usual. I just kept my hand raised, since I didn't really understand the multiplication thing. I kept my hand raised, and he just kept ignoring me. I was really mad, and then his wig turned blue, somehow."_

Sirius, Fred, and George burst out laughing at the thought of some poor teacher getting his hair turned blue.

"_He sent me to the office-"_

"What? But there wasn't any proof he did it!" complained Mrs. Weasley.

"_When I got home I had to give a letter to Uncle Vernon, saying I did it, and he had to sign it. He got really mad, and he took the frying pan from the stove that was frying the bacon for dinner. He grabbed me by the neck-" _Sirius noticed his handwriting got shaky around this part-

"_And he lifted my shirt and put the pan on my back. He put me in the cupboard and I haven't really eaten since then."_

The entire room was silent. This was one of the first in-depth, no softening of the facts, abuse they'd seen towards Harry. And then they absolutely lost it.

Mrs. Weasley was practically screaming her lungs out, "HARRY WILL NOT BE GOING BACK TO THAT PLACE! HOW COULD DUMBLEDORE-"

Hermione looked close to tears, and Ginny wrapped her arm around her, looking upset. Ron was staring at his hands, his face shocked. Fred and George were staring at each other. Mr. Weasley was attempting to calm down his wife. Sirius, surprisingly, wasn't screaming or being angry. His head was in his hands, and he was crying silently.

Harry stared up at the ceiling, hearing Mrs. Weasley yell. He was inside of the smallest room, lying on the couch, his feet against the wall, his arm behind his head. That was the only piece of furniture that fit. It was dark and the air felt damp. He didn't feel anything, just a numb shock. He didn't like the idea of the Weasley's learning his past, or anyone, for that matter. He should've destroyed that section of the journal when he had the chance. He didn't know why he was in there, but he felt it was the last place they would look. Especially in this situation, it was practically a cupboard.

Once Arthur succeeded in calming down Molly, and almost all of them were calmed down, Sirius still had his head in his hands, feeling overwhelming guilt. Hermione went over to Sirius uncertainly, and laid a hand on his shoulder. He tensed slightly, and didn't look at her. Hermione kneeled in front of him and offered gently, "Sirius?"

"This is all my fault." He said, his voice muffled slightly by his hands.

"No, it's not, Sirius." Said Hermione firmly.

'Yes it is. If I hadn't gone after Peter, Harry would've lived with me." Mumbled Sirius, glancing at Hermione's face.

"Still not your fault. Besides, Hagrid had orders to take him to the Dursley's. Remember?" offered Hermione kindly.

Sirius glanced at her, and then walked out of the room yelling "HARRY! Get down here!" He listened, and then yelled, "Harry! Come on! You're not in trouble!" He climbed the stairs and repeated himself, ignoring the screeches of his mother.

"Harry! This had better not be a joke, or- or I'll put you in Regulus's room!" He bellowed.

"This isn't like Harry," said Hermione. "And he left his wand," she added, picking up the holly and phoenix feather wand.

Harry had heard Sirius yelling, and had gotten up to go to him, in the small corner where the door was.. He turned the knob and pushed. Then he pulled. He twisted it the other way, and tried again. He slammed against it, and then felt for his wand, to only feel and empty pocket. He mumbled a curse under his breath, and then yelled, "Sirius! Sirius, I'm locked in the attic!" And then he saw a sight that made him lose his voice, and made his knees quake.

_"Crap,"_ he thought as he passed out.

**A/N- I was originally going to have this in 1 chapter, but it was too long. Just review, and tell me what you think! By the way, the cupboard here was slightly smaller than the one Harry had. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Hey guys! Thank you SO MUCH for the feedback, it really helps me! I sent replies to those of you who had questions. (LATER ADDITION Oh my Merlin, you guys, I'm so sorry! I thought that I'd posted this already! Thanks for alerting me, MWPP-Marauders-Forever! Extra food for you!)**

"He isn't responding," said Mrs. Weasley worriedly.

"Sirius, should we look for him?" offered Hermione, gesturing to herself and Ron. Sirius nodded, then added, "Hermione, look on this floor. Ron, you look on the second. I'll check the landing, and the attic above it." They all split up.

"Harry? Are you in here?" Hermione offered hesitantly, cracking open the door to the dining room and kitchen. No Harry. She checked the living room. None. She called up, "No Harry!"

Ron glanced into his and Harry's bedroom, Fred and Georges, Ginny and Hermione's, and his parents. He called, "No Harry!"

Sirius glanced into his own room, and Regulus's and relocked them both. Then he ventured up the stairs to the little space that he was certain a boggart lived in. It was pretty tiny, and not likely to have Harry, but- leave no stone unturned, right? He attempted to open the door, but found it locked. He quickly pulled out his wand, and cast the Alohamora charm. He walked in to see a slumped Harry and a bloody, dead Harry.

_Okay, boggart._ He thought, blood running cold at the sight of dead Harry. He grabbed the slumped one and charged out of there, locking the door first.

"Found him! Molly, get up here!" Sirius screamed. He heard thundering up the stairs, then heard a variety of gasps. He glanced up, and saw Molly, Arthur, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny there.

"Boggart." He said tersely gesturing towards the cupboard area. "Don't go in there."

"_Renervate." _Harry gasped wildly, his face pale, glancing up at the crowd. He groaned and put his hand on his face.

"Dementor boggart. Sorry." He muttered. "I'm fine now. Really."

But Harry wasn't fine. He, in fact, began feeling furious. Partially, at his stupidity at leaving his wand downstairs, and the most bit at these people, especially Sirius. What right did he have to read aloud his personal thoughts? Sure, that was one thing, bringing in Ron and Hermione. He was going to tell them once things had calmed down a bit. The other Weasleys, though, _that_ was what he was mad about. He knew why he hadn't really spoken out, but he preferred not to think about it. Most of the people had dissipated, except for Ron, Hermione, and Sirius. Hermione was handing him a bar of chocolate, which he took, glaring at her meaningfully. She looked a bit surprised, but then got the message and said, "Come on, Ron, let's go down the kitchen." He looked a bit lost, but then understood and followed Hermione down the steps.

Sirius, staring at him, concerned, said, "Harry, eat the-"

"Sirius! Why the hell did you let the other Weasley's stay?" he hissed, tossing the chocolate aside. Sirius looked a bit terrified, and tried to cut in, but harry steamrollered over him.

"Oh, don't even say you understand, Sirius! You, at least, got a bedroom, got friends, and knew about magic! You didn't get several families breathing down your back, when all you wanted to do was to forget about it! AND YOU HAVEN'T IGNORED THE ENTIRE SUMMER BY THOSE PEOPLE!" snapped Harry. Sirius was staring at him as if a harmless puppy had suddenly sprouted fangs and attacked.

"You know what," he said finally, "I think it's time I fulfilled my side of the deal. Come on." He handed Harry the chocolate, and pulled him to his feet. Harry took a bite, feeling warmth spread through him. They went into the living room, where Sirius pulled out a stone bowl. He put it down on top of the table, then took out a vial. He poured it in, and then gestured to the bowl. "After you."

Harry fell into the memory, seeing a boy, around the age of 7, with dark hair reaching his collar, slightly taller than average, a handsome face peeking out of the curls. The face was slightly more rounded than what Harry was used to, and the gray eyes shone. The older version of this boy dropped in next to him, glanced at himself, and grasped Harry's hand. Suddenly, a woman Harry quite recognized from her portrait was hovering over him, screaming, eyes bulging, a vein in her neck throbbing.

"HOW DARE YOU BE FRIENDLY WITH SUCH FILTH! SIRIUS ORION BLACK, YOU SHOULD HOPE THAT YOU NEVER MAKE FRIENDS WITH SUCH MUDDY BLOOD EVER AGAIN! OR THIS WILL HAPPEN!" Mrs. Black dragged in a boy covered with such burns and boils it made Harry's stomach heave. The boy was whimpering, squirming away from Sirius. His face was shocked, as he ran towards the boy and knelt next to him.

"Mattie! Are you okay-"

The boy wriggled away from Sirius and spat, "Freak!" Sirius stopped, and turned to his mother, who looked infuriated as her son had comforted the boy. She backhanded her son, who fell to the floor, glaring at his mother. He didn't move, but sat angrily, cursed boy forgotten. The memory blurred, and Harry was pulled into the next.

**A/N- I just got to the hits for this story, and all I can say is… Wow. Thank you all so much! This means so much to me.**


	6. Chapter 6

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER, OR ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS. THAT RIGHT BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING**

**A/N- Hey! Thanks for reading! On to the story!**

Now, the boy, a few years older, holding a Hogwarts letter in incredible excitement. A younger, less handsome boy, was staring at the letter with obvious envy.

"Siri," he breathed, "You are so lucky! I hope you get Slytherin."

The boy snorted, opening his letter, "I'd love to have any other house than that!" He read it excitedly, then bellowed, "MUM! I got my letter!"

"We'll go to Diagon Alley later," she called up, sounding bored. Harry felt himself being pulled into another memory. The boy, wearing the same clothes he was earlier, was holding his cheek, skin split, blood running down his face.

"HOW COULD YOU BETRAY YOUR BLOOD STATUS IN PUBLIC? I SHOULD HAVE DISPOSED OF YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE! TO YOUR ROOM, NOW, AND I BETTER NOT HEAR A PEEP!" Sirius scampered up the stairs. He began to glance around his somewhat depressing room, and flopped down on his bed, pulling out a book labeled _Best Curses and Hexes of the 1960's. _He took out his wand and began to cast curses on random objects throughout his room.

He flashed to Hogwarts, Sirius sitting between Remus and James, with Peter on James's left. He was shoveling down food, and Harry noticed he was slightly thinner than he'd seen him last. He snuck a glance to older Sirius, who was staring at him carefully.

"Did she-"

"Yeah, she only fed me a bit a day for almost a month. She made me clean the house. Essentially what would happen if you displayed magic."

Harry glanced back at the scene, where a pale, miniscule Remus was shoveling down food. By the look of him, a full moon had been just a few days ago, or a few days into the future. Sirius was chatting with James about the schedule, then, out of nowhere, he began to sprout feathers. He roared, "WHO DID THIS?" He whipped out his wand and whirled around to face the Slytherin table, where most were laughing. McGonagall, her usual bun in place, less wrinkles, but looking very severe.

"Mr. Black, calm down. I will find out who did this." She waved her wan, and his feathers vanished. James glanced at him sympathetically.

"Did you do this?" he asked James. James grinned, and offered, "As hilarious as that is, no."

"Peter? Did you?"

"I'm not that smart, Sirius."

"Remus?"

"Nope."

"Then it must have been Snivellus." Sirius announced. "I declare pranking war. James, Remus, Peter, you in?"

Harry was pulled into another memory. Sirius was, yet again, locked into his room. He had tied a rag around his arm. He was copying down a letter onto three pieces of parchment.

_Remus/James/Peter,_

_Hey. Alright, so you wanted to know about my stupid pure-blood obsessed family? Alright. Okay, so, basically, she cursed a muggle boy I was friends with when I was young, and convinced him I was a freak. I learned then that my mother was a sadistic, abusive bitch. My father just sits in the background, but that's bound to change. Regulus, the idiot, is swallowing all of their lies about how purebloods are superior, muggles are filth, so on. You know my family had been in Slytherin for eternity, and I go put into Gryffindor and befriended those of "second class'. All the screaming noises you heard? Howlers. Disgracing the family, should've beheaded me the moment I showed resistance, so on. It's not incredibly severe- I've never had Crucio put on me or anything. Periods of near starvation, being treated like a house-elf, a variety of Dark curses. What I'm getting at is, send me food unless you want me to go to Madam Pomfrey on bulimic/ anorexic charges. I'll give you specifics later; I've just been locked in my room for an hour or so. _

_Don't worry about me._

_See you,_

_Sirius._

He opened the door on a cage of an almost entirely black owl.

"Strix, take these to Remus, James, and Peter. Make sure Mum or Regulus or Kreacher don't see you." He hissed, opening his window. A few moments later, Walburga charged into the room, a crazed look in her eyes. As usual. She screamed, "WHY WERE YOU SENDING LETTERS TO THOSE FILTHY FRIENDS OF YOURS?" Sirius glared up at her coldly, remaining seated, an said icily, "I didn't send any letters." Harry had to admire Sirius's nerve. Walburga returned an equally cold glare, and pulled out her wand.

"As you know, I have been very disappointed in your behavior." She said softly, which was such a change Harry had to rub his ears to make sure he heard her.

"Perhaps it's time I bring in your father. ORION!" A washed-out old man stood in the doorway, grunted, and grabbed Sirius by the arm. He dragged him into a study, and threw him into a chair. He leaned into his face, his hands on the desk, and hissed.

"You know, your mother was absolutely apoplectic with rage when we heard you were sorted into Gryffindor. We told your cousins and their friends to keep a soft eye on you. An occasional curse or hex, but nothing too serious. We understand that James has acceptable blood-status, but is a blood traitor. Your half-blood friends Remus and Peter."

Your friends are the worst scum Wizarding has to offer. That made your mother angry as well. You do realize, all of the things you've done at school, they're going to come right back and kill you whenever you come across those who know the value of blood purity. But I have stayed out of your correction for long enough, boy, and your mother has been far too soft with you." He made a complicated flicking movement with his wand, and Sirius dropped to the floor, writhing. Harry watched with horror as some sort of Dark Magic made Sirius's chest flame, angry burns erupting. He flicked his wand again, and they ended suddenly. He crouched near Sirius, who was staring up at him, infuriated and a touch fearful. His father jabbed his wand towards his mouth, and suddenly Sirius was choking, throat grasped by hands he couldn't see. His pupils were the size of pinpoints when the spell released him. He lay there, gasping and coughing. Orion walked out of the room. Harry glanced at Sirius, who was staring down at his younger self, rubbing his throat. Another memory came. James was hugging Sirius, in front of a huge manor. Remus was waiting casually next to them both, as he had most likely hugged Sirius already.

"Where's Peter?" asked Sirius, staring around the stately garden.

"He's on holiday with his mum. He'll be back next week. So, how was the food?"

"Brilliant, thanks," mumbled Sirius, accepting a hug from Mrs. Potter. "So, how have your summers been?" He offered, anxious to change the topic. Remus arched an eyebrow but said, "Good. I didn't really do much though. Here, James, let's show Sirius his room." He said, helping Sirius hoist his trunk. They went up the stairs, and into a room with pale green walls, a dark green bed, and a lightly colored wooden desk and wardrobe. Remus and Sirius placed his trunk down. They both parked themselves on Sirius's bed. Sirius dug out some jeans and a t-shirt, and lifted his shirt, where the burns were half-healed and his ribs were prominent, a few scars lacing his arms and back. Remus and James stared. Sirius turned, jumping slightly when he saw them sitting there. He placed a hand on his heart and gasped, "Merlin, you scared me! I thought you'd left."

"What are these, Sirius?" asked Remus slowly, going to touch the burns. He examined him closely, then, without warning, pounced on him.

"What the heck, Remus?" said Sirius, struggling to throw off the smaller boy.

"James, get me a wet rag, fast!" exclaimed Remus. James charged into the hall, and came back with a sopping white rag. He chucked it at Remus, who began to scrub at his neck.

"Ouch, Remus! Take it easy! Jeez!" complained Sirius loudly. Remus tossed aside the rag, and let up Sirius. The bruises on his neck were now clearly visible.

"I thought you said it wasn't bad, mate," said James quietly, staring at his friend in concern. Remus, however, was absentmindedly stroking at his left bicep. Sirius stared, then grabbed Remus's sleeve and pushed it up. A bite mark scar, which looked rather vicious.

"I was attacked by a rabid dog when I was a kid. That isn't the point! Sirius, you obviously need a new definition for "not that bad"." Said Remus. Sirius and Harry chuckled darkly at how close that was to the truth.

"This, quite literally, happened right after I sent you the letters." Explained Sirius. "Dearest father's first time." James looked disgusted. Remus just looked sad. James walked out of the room, and Sirius began tugging on the new shirt. A faint shriek of "What?" wafted up the stairs.

Sirius went pale. "Crap."

Mrs. Potter barged into the room angrily, and demanded, "James, this had better not be one of those practical jokes-" but she cut short when she saw Sirius's throat. A gentleness took over the anger in her eyes. She shoved Sirius onto the bed.

"Oh, really, Mrs. Potter, don't-!" Sirius protested. She paid no heed and tugged off his shirt and mumbled a healing spell. The skin around the burns bubbled, almost as if it was boiling, and Sirius shrieked.

"Merlin," breathed Mrs. Potter, gently feeling the skin that had bubbled. It looked identical to the burns.

"Dark magic. She wants me to heal like muggles, receive treatment like muggles, if I think they're so great.' Mumbled Sirius. Mrs. Potter called, "Fliro!" A house-elf, wearing a clean white robe, appeared "Fliro, get me some muggle healing supplies."

"Right away, Mistress Potter," she squeaked. She Disapparated, then reappeared, holding a first-aid kit of Olympic proportions. She shooed out James and Remus. Remus gave him a meaningful look and mouthed, _We're talking about this later._ Another memory. Sirius was sitting on his bed, head hanging, hands next to each respectable hip. Remus and James were standing in front of him, arms folded, each hip cocked towards the other, heads tilted towards the other's. Harry would've laughed, had the situation not been so dire.

"Sirius," growled James, "Tell us. Or I'll get the Veritaserum Dad keeps in his briefcase, and we'll force it out of you."

Sirius shook his head. He glanced up, opened his mouth, closed it, then looked down and shook his head. Harry was suddenly, vividly reminded of himself when he tried to tell Sirius

"Get the Veritaserum," Sirius said hoarsely, "Then ask me whatever questions you'd like. Please," he added, staring up at his friends. James nodded, then walked out of the room. He returned in 5 minutes, holding a small bottle. He handed it to Sirius, who offered, "Bottoms up," weakly, and downed it in one gulp.

"Let's test. What's your name?"

"Sirius Orion Black,' said Sirius dully.

"Why do you hate raspberry jam?"

"I almost choked on a sandwich with raspberry jam at a young age."  
"Right, then it works. How'd you get the burns?"

"Mum just told me dad would have a try in correcting me. He said that he sent my cousins and their friends to look out for me, and to send the occasional curse or hex, but nothing too serious. Then he told me anyone who had the 'right idea' of blood purity would get me. Then he performed some spell, and these happened," he said, gesturing to his chest and neck.

"When and how did you get the scars on your arms and back?" asked Remus.

"All relating to not respecting my pureblood ancestry, and through now and when I was 6, and learned that my parents were twisted. Same spell every time."

"What normally happens when your mother punishes you," asked James, staring at his face carefully. Sirius's eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

"Normally, I just get hit. By hand or foot. Sometimes a spell."

The two boys glanced at each other, then down at the boy.

"How about Regulus? Does he believe that, or think you deserve it?"

"He just swallows down their beliefs. He doesn't really understand it, because Mum and Dad make sure he doesn't see it."

Remus leaned into his face and asked very softly, "Do you think you deserve it?"

Sirius's tears threatened to spill over. "I used to. Now, a bit of me thinks so. I am disrespecting them, and sometimes the pressure is awful."

"When did you think you deserved it entirely?" asked Remus.

"Until I became friends with you guys. I realized that it wasn't just me, that my beliefs aren't unfounded, that not everyone is focused on blood purity." A tear leaked out, but Sirius didn't wipe it away.

"I think that's all our questions, right, James?" said Remus, leaning away from Sirius's face.

**A/N- Again, so so so so so sorry that I didn't post chapter 5! I really thought I had. But here's chapter 6, anyways, and our adventure into Sirius's past isn't quite over yet. Please review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER, OR ANY OF THESE CHARECTERS! THAT RIGHT BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING!**

**A/N- To answer a review, from The-Girl-Who-Dreamed- I had some of an idea of that. But, in most cases, they report people because of their thinness/self-image. Both, right? Sirius was just trying to make his point clear- Send me food, or I'm going to starve. Thanks for the feedback!**

This memory was at Hogwarts. Lucius was standing over Sirius, smirking, his cold eyes glimmering with malice.

"We heard from your father that you might need a little more… persuasion to join the cause. Bella, bring in our guest, please?" A younger Bellatrix Lestrange, Black then, came in, dragging Remus by the ear. Sirius froze. Harry took a close look at the boy. Remus was pale, more so than usual, and his hair was matted with blood. His eyes were wide, and he was shaking his head. He was mumbling, "I don't want… No… Don't…"

"Perhaps I should show you a bit of what he went through on him again?" offered Bellatrix with a maniacal grin, raising her wad, staring down at the small boy with something almost like lust, lust to harm him.

"LIKE HELL!" bellowed Sirius. He launched himself over Remus, shielding him from the future Death Eaters, arms spread protectively.

"Aren't you protective of your filthy, half-bre-"

"There's nothing wrong with Remus!" snapped Sirius. Harry heard some footsteps.

"Crap," hissed Lucius, "It's a professor!" The two Slytherins ran. Sirius crouched next to Remus, eyes grazing his face frantically.

"Crap, Remus, I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Are you hurt? I'm sorry! I swear I didn't mean for anything to happen! Are you okay?" Sirius fussed.

"Siri," muttered Remus, pushing himself onto his elbows, "I'm fine. Really. All I need is some chocolate."

"What did they do? Remus, if you don't want to be my friend anymore, I'd totally understand, I swear-"

"Sirius!" exclaimed Remus loudly. He grabbed Sirius by the shoulders and shook them.

"I. AM. FINE." He enunciated slowly.

"They didn't really do anything, all they did was use some sort of curse to get a cut on the forehead, but then they healed it. That's why there's blood."

Remus calmly pulled out three Chocolate Frogs, handing one to Sirius.

"I still want to be your friend. Calm down. If anything, that made me want to join you and piss them off further." Sirius finally seemed to calm down.

"How did they get you anyways?" He said, still staring at the back of Remus's head as if a terrible bloody scar was going to jump at him.

"I was in the library, doing research for our Transfiguration essay." Sirius shook his head, and said lightly, "Rem, the library's a bad place. How many times have James and I told you? BAD!" he exclaimed. Sirius was trying to act as if the danger was forgotten, but Harry knew better. Another memory came. This Sirius's face was slimmer, most likely the summer of that year. Mr. Black was leaning over a paralyzed Sirius, shaking his head slowly.

"I warned you, and yet you didn't listen. You need to learn your lessons. Perhaps I didn't make myself clear last time? Your obsession with these filthy, unpure- things- needs to stop. Maybe I didn't make myself clear last time." He pointed his wand at Sirius and muttered a spell. Sirius looked in incredible pain, but he couldn't move to express it. Orion grinned, then added, "This spell won't let you eat that much without causing you to feel that pain again. Until someone puts on the counter curse, which is well beyond N.E.W.T levels."

Harry turned to his godfather, who looked slightly ill. He muttered,

"Made my gut feel like it was boiling and freezing at the same time. Wait."

Sirius got up a while later, shaky, and went over to his room. He sat on the bed. A screech owl was tapping at the window. He went over to the window, and unlatched it. He unhooked the letter. Harry read,

_Sirius,_

_I hope your folks aren't giving you that much trouble. We've only been back, what, 2 hours? Anyways, I was wondering if you could come over for August? Write me soon!_

_See you (hopefully),_

_James_

Another memory came. Sirius was composing a letter, pressing a red rag to his face.

_James,_

_Sorry, mate, but I can't. My sadistic mother wants me here for the rest of the summer, to "correct me in my corrupted ways."_

_Don't worry about me._

_Sirius._

They were in the Great Hall. Sirius had only a slice of turkey on his plate. He had a bruise on his face, and a slight scar where the cut had been in the last memory. His school robes hung loosely from his frame, and his face was stretched and taut. James, Peter, and Remus were looking at him concernedly.

"You alright, mate?" asked Peter. Sirius glanced up, and gave them an odd smile.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Well," said Remus, "normally we have to drag you away from the food. Now you're barely eating."

James, meanwhile, was piling food onto Sirius's plate. Sirius turned slightly green at the amount of food teetering on his plate.

"You're eating half of that. You're too thin, Siri." Said James firmly. Sirius tentatively took a few bites. His face contorted, and he dashed out of the Hall. He dashed into the nearest bathroom and became violently sick; leaning over the toilet and coughing up the few bites he'd eaten. He gasped, and collapsed when done, holding his stomach, curled into the fetal position. The other three Marauders burst in, took one look around, and Peter and James hoisted Sirius, draping his arms around their shoulders. Remus muttered a spell, and cleaned up the sick, following behind them.

"Moony, get Madam Pomfrey. He needs the Hospital Wing."

"Don't need… Hospital," said Sirius weakly, attempting to walk away, but collapsing onto James. James looked incredibly worried.

"Sirius, mate, why didn't you tell us you were ill?"

Sirius let out slightly hysterical laughter.

They entered the Hospital Wing, and deposited Sirius on the bed. James gently began pulling off the robes splattered with sick, and sucked in a breath at how loosely his shirt hung off of Sirius's frame. Madam Pomfrey bustled in, gently pushing away James. She offered,

"How long have you been sick, Mr. Black?" Sirius didn't answer.

She stopped, and stared at him.

"Who cursed you, Mr. Black?"

Sirius remained silent. She sighed, and said,

"Mr. Black, if you don't answer, I will have to go to the Headmaster." Sirius stared stonily down at his crossed arms.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Lupin, do you know anything?" asked Madam Pomfrey. Sirius glared at the three, as if to say, _You wouldn't dare._ She sighed, and walked out of the room.

Dumbledore walked in, looking grave.

"Messers Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, go back to the feast. Poppy, will you give us some privacy, please."

James looked mutinous, but spun on his heel and stomped out of the hospital. Peter and Remus followed suit.

"You have some loyal friends, Mr. Black. I hope you know that." Sirius nodded. Dumbledore scooted closer.

"Could you look into my mind? I really don't feel like talking about it at the moment." Said Sirius faintly. Dumbledore took out his wand, and muttered, "Legilimens!" They both went limp for a little while. Dumbledore looked at Sirius, eyes a little teary.

"They treat you like this because you don't believe in what they believe in?" he asked. Sirius nodded.

"Stay at Hogwarts for all the holidays you can. You cannot ignore the wishes of your parents in the summer, but write one of your friends and get away as soon as you can in the summer. I'm sorry I can't do more to help you, Sirius. But I do know the countercurse to the magic that was put on you. I'll leave you to your rest." He strode out of the room. Madam Pomfrey bustled back in. The memory faded, and another came. Sirius was throwing down food at breakfast with such gusto that the other Marauders stared at him, looking a bit sick themselves. Lily sat across from Remus, staring at Sirius.

"Weren't you sick last night?" she asked.

"Yep. But now I'm not." He said cheerfully. A new memory came. Sirius was standing silently behind a pillar in the common room. Lily was standing in front of Remus, arms crossed.

"Look, Remus, just tell me. If you tell him this, I'll kill you, but I'm worried about him. He's too thin, he's got scars, and if you don't tell me, I'm reporting to Professor McGonagall."

"McGonagall knows. Look, Lily, I promised, I can't tell you. Sorry." Responded Remus shortly. Both Sirius's smiled at his loyalty. Young Sirius stepped out from behind the pillar.

"Thanks, Remus, for your loyalty. Lily, thanks for your concern, but I can get along just fine, thanks." He turned and stepped up the stairs. Remus followed, and Lily looked confused and exasperated.

Another memory came. Sirius was standing shirtless. His ribs were still visible, but not as prominently as before. There were no scars, burns, or any form of past harm. He glanced at himself in the mirror, and prodded his chest. He grinned, and said, "I did it."

"What did you do?" came another voice. James walked in, and glanced at Sirius. He broke into a grin. "You got rid of the scars!" Another memory came. He was reading a letter from Lily, a furious expression on his face.

_Sirius,_

_I got Peter to talk. I am SO going to talk with you when we get back to Hogwarts! Stay out of trouble, okay? I don't want you getting more hurt than you already have._

_Love from,_

_Lily_

A shout of "BOY!" came from the study. Sirius got up slowly, and trudged towards the stairs. His mother and father were both waiting for him, glaring. Sirius sat in the chair across from the desk, arms crossed.

"We have decided that your behavior this year warrants more punishment. Hexing Slytherins? Getting into countless detentions? And the worst, still befouling the Black name by being friends with that blood-traitor, the half-breed, and the idiot half-blood boy. It disgusts us." Said his mother, her wand pointing at Sirius the entire time.

"We have decided," said his father, pulling out his wand as well, "that you will come home for every holiday that it is allowed. Christmas, Easter, any other. Do you understand me?" Sirius nodded. They both shot a hex at Sirius. He dropped, clawing at his throat, attempting to push off invisible hands. Bruises and cuts flowered hideously from Sirius's skin. They left their eldest son, bruises still coming, him attempting to gasp in air, looking slightly like a fish out of water. Regulus walked in, and crouched nex to his brother.

"Siri?" he whispered, reaching out to touch his arm.

"Listen Reg," he gasped, attempting to push himself up. "Try to blend at Hogwarts, okay? I'm not really sure if I'll be able to protect you there. But- but don't rebel, like I am. That's my job. Promise me," he said weakly. He reached for his brothers hand, and grasped it weakly.

"Promise me!" he insisted.

Regulus stared back, and whispered, "I promise."

**A/N- I swear things are going to get better for Sirius. It's going to take a lot for him to break away from his home, and it's going to take a lot for him to tell his friends. Right now, he's in the summer before his 4th year. Please review, with any suggestions/praise/constructive criticism.**


	8. Chapter 8

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF THESE CHARECTERS! THAT RIGHT BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING!**

**A/N- I'll keep it short, up here. There's some stuff at the bottom, if you want to read it. You will hate me for what I do to Sirius. *Dodges fangirls and runs* you'll understand later! I promise there are some awesome things coming for Sirius! And sorry if this makes you uncomfortable. You can skip these chapters, if you'd like. Remember, only 2 more years until he runs!**

Another memory came. Sirius was writing a letter, holding a cloth up to his left eye.

_James,_

_Sorry, mate, but I can't come, for Christmas or for August. You know why. Don't worry about me. _

_Sirius._

Another memory. Sirius was staring out the window, as if waiting for something to come. His left eye was swollen shut. He sighed, and then got out a box. It was labeled, _letters._ One bundle read, _1st year._ The next read _2nd year._ The other read, _3rd year._ There was only one letter in the one labeled, _4th year._ He sighed again.

Another memory. There was rain thundering outside of Grimmauld Place. Sirius was on the floor again, glaring up at his mother. His ankle splayed at an odd angle, and Sirius was in obvious pain. A soft knock came on the door.

"Come in," called Walburga Black, glancing down at her son carelessly. Orion walked in, smiling at his wife. He whispered something to her, and she smiled viciously and walked out of the room. Orion walked over to his son. Sirius glared at him, his panting betraying his pain and fear. Orion just leaned down over his son, and asked,

"Ever hear of the Tormentis Viculum?" Sirius shook his head. Orion grinned suddenly, and said,

"You see, the Tormentis Viculum is a most curious little curse. It has only one countercurse. The Tormentis Viculum makes any pain the person it is placed upon multiply. We thought that this might finally teach you the lesson you need." Sirius's eyes grew wide, and he struggled to stand on his injured ankle, but collapsed, breathing even more heavily. Orion stood, and bellowed,

"_Tormentis Viculum!"_ Sirius screamed, attempting to scuttle away from his father, but failing. He continued to scream. Orion left.

Another memory came. Sirius was limping awkwardly onto the Hogwarts Express, trying to find his friends. He was wearing a muggle hoodie, which he kept up, and his head down. He walked towards the train and got on, walking towards an empty compartment. He sat for a while, staring out of the window. Harry had yet to see his face. James and Peter walked by, then James grinned. He walked into the compartment, and asked "Sirius?" Peter followed.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked in a low voice, still staring out the window.

"His furry little problems acting up tonight. Sirius nodded.

"Ankle broke, early in the summer," said Sirius. James sighed. Peter gasped.

Sirius turned to face his friends, throwing back his hood suddenly.

Harry gasped. Sirius's face had bruises, scars, and welts.

"Blimey," breathed James. He touched one gently, and Sirius let out a bellow of pain.

"Sorry," he hissed, pulling away from James. "They're tender. And my healing spells won't work on them."

James took out his wand stealthily, then flicked his wand and muttered a healing spell. Sirius let out a yell and dropped to the floor.

"What the hell, James? Didn't I just say that healing spells didn't work on these?" he said, then gritted his teeth as more bruises spread. Sirius glared at Peter.

"Thanks a million for telling Lily, Pete. See if I ever trust you with a secret again." Peter deflated as James turned to glare at him.

"He trusted us with this, Pete! If he wanted to tell lovely Lily about it, he would have!"

"Speak of the devil, and she shall appear," Sirius muttered, as a redhead walked past their compartment, then, walking backwards, looked in again. She entered, and Sirius turned away hastily. James, however, gave her a jaunty smile.

"Lily-tiger! How lovely to see you again!"

"Shut it, James. I'm here for Sirius." She turned to him, and realized that she couldn't see his face.

"Sirius-" she began, but she was cut off.

"Leave, Lily. If I wanted you to know, I would have told you when I caught you begging Moony. Leave." Said Sirius coldly, not looking at her. Lily snatched his wrist, and yanked it. She saw the mess of bruises, cuts, and welts.

"I see," she whispered. She swallowed, and James added quickly, "Healing charms don't work on them. Sirius an I both tried." She sighed, then felt at one gently. Sirius let out a hiss, then clenched his teeth.

"They're tender." He muttered. Lily mumbled an apology, and stared at him for a while. She cocked her head, like a curious child, then stood, and said, "My friends will be expecting me, I really just wanted to-" and she pounced on Sirius.

Sirius shrieked and attempted to shove her off, and she touched one of his nastier cuts. Sirius bellowed, then yelled, "Get off of me!"

"Not until you tell me what happened! Sev had this once-"

Sirius let out a hysterical laugh, still trying to shove off Lilly. James attempted to help, and Peter sat curled up in a corner.

"Snivellus! Snivellus had this! Well, he should know then, that it' the-" but Sirius didn't get to say what it was, as he suddenly went limp, his eyes closing.

"Sirius? Sirius, this had better not be a prank! Sirius! James, get someone!" she demanded, feeling Sirius's neck and letting out a sigh of relief

"He's breathing, at least-" but the memory ended.

"What happened?" asked Harry desperately.

**A/N- I've gotten some reviews lately that I wanted to address-**

**"You've improved!" Why, thanks! I want to delve into a little tale, for that… It was the last few days of school. My teacher, for two years, hands us our files with all our old papers in them. She wanted us to write a paper on 'who we are' as writers, and where our skill stances were/are. So, I read over my papers. I'll give you the horrors now- For a 5-paragraph paper, my first for her, was 1 and ½ pages long. It was awful; I paid little attention to grammar, but it 'showed promise', as she said. I got a B. My last paper, for that class, same length, was then 3 pages long. I got an A. I read over the two and shudder at both. The point? I've come a long way, but still have miles to go. Thanks so much for your reviews; they all help me so much.**


	9. WARNING

There is a scheme brewing up with the FF staff and they're planning to take down any and every story over the M rated section (stories with yaoi, yuri, het lemons, song based stories, extreme violence, etc) ...

So on June 23rd, there will be an official Black Out. Authors will not log in, read, or review stories. Those who do not have accounts are also affected by FF's decisions too. Please participate and spread the news! If enough authors take part in this event, FF will know we mean business. Also, if anybody has any information on when this purging on M-rated fics will be please contact me. I would like to know in advance.

SPREAD THE WORD!

copy and pate this into your story updates, communities and forums

thanks


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks for responding! On with the story, which is what I'll be doing most of this weekend!**

Sirius stirred blearily, in a bed, wearing the average Hospital Wing blue-and-white striped pajamas. He groaned and felt his face. Most of the injuries were gone, but his left eye was swollen shut, as it was before. Madam Pomfrey bustled in just then, and said briskly

"That's a record, I suspect. Fastest anyone's ever landed in the Hospital Wing."

"What happened? Groaned Sirius, hand over his swollen eye.

"I believe you were trying to tell Miss Evans something, but you fell unconscious. Many number of bruises you had, Sirius. How'd you get them?" Sirius pulled a face, and muttered something along the lines "same person".

"You mean the same person who cast the curse on you last year? Who, Sirius? We can administer aid, if necessary." Said Madam Pomfrey earnestly.

"I, literally, _can't_ tell you. I tried to tell them, on the train, but I fell unconscious. What happened to them, anyways?"

"You've got good friends, Mr. Black. Mr. Potter sent an owl ahead, and Miss Evans and Mr. Pettigrew took you up here." Sirius nodded slowly, and James, Peter, and Lily all came in. Once they spotted Sirius, they called,

"Sirius!" and a torrent of conversation came forth,

"Sirius, you've got to tell me, but you cant, I see that now, and Sev-"

"Honestly, mate, you gave us a right scare-"

"Sirius, you can't go back there for Christmas, or they're gonna-"

"They're going to what, Mr. Pettigrew? Who?" cut in Madam Pomfrey.

Sirius gave him a glare worthy of his mother.

"Haven't you done enough, Pete?" he spat out. Peter looked down at his shoes.

"Mr. Black, though you may not like it now, this is for your own good! Now, Mr. Pettigrew- who?"

Peter squeaked, "His parents." Then stared down at his shoes again. Madam Pomfrey drew back, then at Sirius, and exclaimed, "Oh! I know the curse now! I can cure you!"

She waved the other 3 back, cleared her throat, then said impressively, "_Dimmittere maledictionem!"_ Sirius fell back against the cushions, struggling with something no one could see.

"What happening to him?" asked Lily, her voice higher than usual.

"He's fighting the curse. He can hear us."

The next memory came. Remus was sitting near Sirius, whose eye was still slightly swollen.

"How long have you had this?"

"Almost the beginning of summer." He whispered. Remus slammed his hand down next to the bedside table, and rose, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Damn it, Sirius! Why the hell don't you tell us?"

"I didn't get a chance to! My owl was at Hogwarts and YOU never wrote me!" Sirius yelled back. Remus stared down at him, looking a little confused.

"Course we wrote you! You sent those replies, you know, _Don't worry about me,_ all that stuff? We wrote each other!"

Sirius stared at Remus as if he'd sprouted another head called Louise that spoke Chinese.

"Either I came across a Memory Charm," said Sirius slowly, "Or someone's been posing as me."

Remus sat down again slowly. He pulled out a piece of parchment, cleared his throat, and read,

"_Dear Remus,_

_How have you been? My summer's been alright, I suppose. How's your furry little problem behaving?_

_Write me soon, don't worry about me,_

_Sirius."_

"You sent me that. It has your handwriting and everything…"

Sirius glanced at the parchment, took it, and sniffed. He coughed, gasping,

"That's my mother's perfume. She puts it on _everything._ That's her parchment."

Remus's eyes widened. "You mean… She _knows?_"

"Remember in second year? When Lucius and Bella came after us? She was about to call you half-breed, which isn't true. I think they told her."

Another memory came. Sirius was on the floor, shirtless, bleeding, crawling weakly away from his cackling parents.

The next memory showed Sirius in the Hospital Wing again. He looked weak, and he was leaning heavily against some pillows to remain upright. James, Peter, and Remus were all sitting next to him

"You've got to leave."

"How?" offered Sirius bitterly. "Can't do magic until I'm of age. Soon. I will, once I'm seventeen. Promise."

**A/N- So, we all know what's happening next chapter… Sorry, Sirius-lovers, but he's going to be in pain…**

**A/N FUNNY NEWS- I was reading the newspaper, and imagine my surprise when I noticed that they were talking about fanfiction! Basically, they were talking about the new book, _Fifty Shades of Grey_, and explaining a few terms to the laypeople. I thought you should know, as they mentioned on there. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N- Let's get this over with… I love Sirius, and I hate to do this to him. Good news, though! I've prewritten a few chapters (YAY) and the more reviews I get, the more I update.**

Sirius was sitting on his bed at Grimmauld place, looking around bitterly.

"Two more years. I can do this." He whispered to his hands. The next memory was Sirius walking towards the Potter Manor, grinning at James, his face clear of injury.

"Sirius! How've you been, mate?"

"Just fine. Mrs. Potter, it's so nice to see you again!"

"Sirius, you're welcome anytime."

Another memory came. Sirius was sitting inside of a small, tight space, glaring at the door.

"BOY!" screamed Mrs. Black. Sirius sighed heavily, and waited. His father unlocked the door, grinning evilly. Sirius trudged towards the study. He stopped inside of the doorway, and said sarcastically, "You rang?" Sirius suddenly reached for Harry's hand and grasped it. He recalled that Sirius had run away at sixteen. He suddenly felt very cold.

"We have told you your place for six years. I have been putting this off, but maybe this is the only way to pound the lesson into your thick skull. Now, boy- sit. Or else this is going to be a lot worse." She said threateningly, pulling out her wand and pointing it. Sirius hesitated- "_Now,_ boy!" and then made his way across the room and sat edgily on the chair.

"You have ignored our warnings for years. You are going to learn a lesson, and you are going to learn it well. _Petrificus Totalus!_" Sirius fell, still in his sitting position, one eye fixed on his mother warily.

"_Tormentis Viculum. Crucio! Crucio! Crucio! _" Sirius lay unmoving, his eyes widened with pain.

"I do believe you have to squirm for it. Learn this lesson, and learn it well." She flicked her wand, and Sirius lay flat on the floor, sucking in air. She leaned over him, and asked, "Learned your lesson yet, boy?" Sirius shook his head. She flicked her wand again, watching him closely. He spasmed, attempting to clutch at the floor, but not finding anything. Older Sirius, however, was clenching Harry's hand very tightly. Over and over, The Cruciatus curse was placed on Sirius. Then the curse that made him choke, his face erupt with bruises, the stomach burning curse. His bones were broken, rehealed, and broken, then healed again. Later, her own brow shining with sweat, she leaned over him and hissed, "You will never consort with those filthy blooded things again!"

"Never," croaked Sirius, his face contorted. She looked down at him and snorted, then declared, "_Dimmittere Maldictionem!"_ and walked out of the room. Later, Sirius sat up, gasping, and lifted a shaky hand to wipe away his sweat. He stood, leaning heavily on the chair, and took a few deep breaths. He hobbled towards his room and began to pack his trunk, regaining a bit of strength. He walked out of the room, dragging his trunk. His mother rushed towards him, shrieking, "What are you doing?"

Sirius yelled right back, "I'm done with this pureblood obsessed family! I don't give a damn whether you approve of my friends or not, and I never have!"

"Go then! You are no longer a piece of this family, you filthy little blood traitor!" she screamed. Sirius turned and strode out the door. He flung out his right hand. A familiar, purple triple-decker bus came to a screeching halt.

"Welcome tah the Knight Bus," said an older man with a strong accent. Sirius walked past him, his pale skin more prominent in the light. He dropped onto the nearest empty bed, and muttered, "Potter Manor, please." The conductor nodded and strode up front. Sirius waited, still shaking, and began to cough. He was dropped off at the Manor.

Sirius, coughing, shaking, injured, dragged his trunk up to the door. James opened the door, and stared at his friend.

Sirius coughed, and muttered, "I finally left." He began coughing again. James grabbed his trunk and beckoned him in, yelling,

"MUM! Sirius is here!" Mr. and Mrs. Potter both rushed down the stairs. Mr. Potter grabbed the trunk from James and hauled it away. Mrs. Potter immediately made him lay down on the couch. She began waving his wand over him and called, "James, go get some food for Sirius." James strode off towards the kitchen, and came back with chicken and cheese sandwiches. Sirius glanced at the food and muttered "The curse, mate."

"Oh, right. Mum, Sirius probably has some curses on him, okay? Don't force him to do anything he says he can't do." Sirius began coughing again, and bent over, wheezing slightly, and you could see the visible, colorful bruises on his neck. He shuddered, then sat upright again.

"Same curse, second year. A repeat, essentially, of every one."

"_Every _one? Even the Tormentis?" whispered James, eyes wide.

"There was. It was removed." He began to cough again. Mrs. Potter stared at Sirius worriedly, and she gently asked, "Can you get upstairs?"

Sirius made to stand, but collapsed onto a ready James. He coughed, and muttered, "Think I used all my energy getting here." Sirius, leaning heavily on James, made his way up the stairs. He sat on the bed the instant it appeared, paler still and shaking. He swayed slightly, a green tinge coming on to his face, and James barely got the wastebasket there in time. He held back Sirius's long hair. Sirius sat up, and wiped his mouth. "Thanks," he mumbled.

"Sirius, have you been eating?" asked a concerned James. Sirius laughed hysterically, and James grabbed his shirt to keep him from keeling over.

"I take that as a no."

"They wouldn't let me." He shuddered violently. "It's so weird to see light again."

"They didn't… lock you up?"

"Prank on Snivelly. They got really… mad." He shuddered again, swaying. James pushed down on his chest, making him lean into the pillows. Mrs. Potter bustled in, holding an abundance of potions. "James, you can leave, if you'd like."

"No chance." James pulled over a chair and sat, staring at Sirius. Mrs. Potter began waving her wand over him, mumbling a variety of spells Harry had never heard. She glanced down at Sirius, worry and caring in her eyes.

"Right, Sirius, tell me if I'm wrong, but you're malnourished, suffering from a wide array of bruises, burns, and cuts, and- and- you were hit by an Unforgivable more than 20 times. Please tell me that spell's wrong." She said, whispering at the end.

"I didn't keep track, but it sounds like it," said Sirius weakly. Mrs. Potter covered her mouth and gasped. James leaned forwards and took Sirius's hand.

"James, you bloody girl," he muttered. James grinned.

"But I'm _your_ bloody girl. And don't you forget it!" Sirius smiled back weakly. Mrs. Potter, having gotten over her terror, said, "Sirius, could you take off your shirt? I need to heal your chest burns." Sirius, still shaky, attempted to raise his shirt, but flinched and gave up. Mrs. Potter helped him gently; her eyes widening at the burns, cuts, and bruises. His ribs and hipbones were prominent, his ribs so visible you could count them. She handed him a few uncorked vials of potion, which Sirius drank clumsily. A few of the burns began to diminish slightly, and a few cuts vanish. She uncorked another, but use an eyedropper to spread it over his chest. They all began to heal, stopping near a halfway point, as if Sirius had been healing for weeks. Sirius glanced up at her, and asked, "Is that all?"

"Nope. Here, drink this." He downed it, shuddering at the taste. He began to regain color, and fill out a bit. He leaned his head back, and his eyes drooped shut. Mrs. Potter nodded, and said, "Goodnight, Sirius," quietly. James scooted closer.

"You'rr gonna st'y wit' me?" asked Sirius, in a slightly slurred voice. James mumbled an affirmative. The memory faded right into the next, where Sirius was jerking in his sleep. He was mumbling, and then he began to scream. James jerked awake, and Sirius continued to scream. James began shaking him. "Get up, Sirius! Wake up!" Sirius's eyes popped open, and he gasped, looking around wildly. James quickly moved into his line of sight, and gave Sirius a gentle hug. Sirius was shuddering, as James murmured nonsense words of comfort. He finally relaxed, and extracicated himself from his friends grasp.

"Want to talk about it, mate?" Sirius shook his head, and lay back down again. He mumbled, "Thanks, mate," then drifted off again.

Another nightmare came. James held Sirius, rubbing his back, as Sirius cried on his best friends shoulder. He pulled back, his eyes red, and muttered another thanks. He lay back onto the pillow. He drifted off again.

This time, Sirius seemed paralyzed, shaking like crazy, but making no noises but slight whimpers. James, snoring, didn't sense it. Sirius sat up, still shaking. He began to make a few, small, sniffling noises as he muffled his tears. He gasped slightly, massaging his throat. He looked like he was fighting something back, but then he began to cough loudly. He bent, and then laid on the bed, curled up, one arm around his stomach, the other blocking his coughs. James woke with a start. He patted Sirius on the back, rubbing it, trying to help him. Sirius finished, and sighed. He attempted to hide his face from James, but James caught his wrist. Sirius looked over at him, blinking quickly to dispel the tears. James attempted to pull him into a hug, but Sirius pushed him away and lay down on his side, not facing James.

"Sirius?" the bespectacled boy asked softly, touching his shoulder. "Is something wrong?"

Sirius laughed, then said, "Oh, no, nothing's wrong. I've only just run away from my captors, and had the Cruciatus placed on me more than twenty times with the Tormentis, and now I've been having nightmares and needing to be coddled like a baby to calm down. Absolutely nothing's wrong."

"Sirius," he sighed, "You know, it's common for people to go insane if that much pain is placed upon them It's actually not that bad for you to have nightmare. It signifies that you're normal, and you won't go crazy. You have to let out your feelings sometimes, mate." Sirius sighed quietly, then mumbled, "If you ever tell anyone other than the Marauders about this, James, I will kill you." James smiled slightly, then said, "Good night, Sirius."

"G'night, James."

**A/N- I finally got Sirius out of there! Yay! So, next chapter, there's a bit of déjà-vu involved…**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N- Hey Marauders…**

Another memory came. Sirius, having regained a bit of color and weight, was still sitting on the bed. Mrs. Potter stood sentry near by. A door banged open below, and Sirius grinned and struggled to stand. Mrs. Potter got in front of him and pushed him into the pillows.

"It isn't going to kill me!" he complained, leaning forwards. Mrs. Potter tutted and said,

"You're still in delicate condition, Sirius. You almost died 3 days ago." Sirius sighed impatiently, then bellowed, "OI! Disinherited heir dying of boredom up here!" Thundering noise came up the steps. Sirius attempted to stand again, only to be shoved back onto the pillows. She sent him a glare, but he grinned up at her cheekily and continued to struggle. James, Remus, and Peter burst into the room. Remus and Peter grinned at Sirius, and rushed over. Remus hugged him gently, and Peter awkwardly patted him on the head.

"James, make sure Sirius stays in bed. I'm making lunch." Sirius grinned mischievously, and attempted to get out of bed. 3 sets of hands pushed him back into the pillows.

Sirius groaned, "Not you too!"

"Sirius, you were close to death 3 days ago-"

"_Close to death?"_ Remus thundered. Sirius sent a death glare towards James. Peter just looked shocked.

Remus leaned forwards into Sirius's face, and hissed, "What did they do to you?" Sirius shrank away, and Remus leaned in and insisted, "_What did they do to you?"_ Sirius gestured towards James, who took out a muggle journal and opened it. He cleared his throat and read,

"_To whoever is reading this,_

_You'd better have my permission. If you are reading this, then you have asked about my sadistic, twisted former family. I made this because I was bored out of my mind and James suggested it. Anyways, I'm just stalling, so I'll start right now… right about now... okay, really, now._

_My family is, as I said before, sadistic and twisted. They put dark curses on me whenever I opposed them, saying that it was 'to teach me a lesson'."_

"Teach you a LESSON? I'm going to teach THEM a LESSON!" snarled Remus. Sirius sat, staring devoutly at his hands.

_"There were normally cutting hexes and bruising curses. I was locked in the cellar often, so I don't really like the dark. That sounds childish, but its fear. Once I got back from my first year, when I got into Gryffindor, they got really mad. They cast this spell on me that made me choke, and another that burned my chest and resisted healing spells. Dittany works on it, though. Third year, a starvation spell that made me puke and my stomach hurt like crazy if I ate too much, which limited my eating to a piece of toast every day. Locked in the cellar, still."_

Remus began to growl ferally. He had his fair share of being locked in small, dark spaces.

"_Fourth year, there was this curse put on me that multiplied the amount of pain in like no one's business. It made me pass out if I tried to tell someone. Fifth year, nothing really happened, except cellar time. Sixth year, cutting and bruising curses, forced to be brought home. _

_When I turned sixteen, the summer right before I turned 17, I was locked in the cellar and my father came to unlock the door. (It would burn me if I tried to get out.)"_

Peter spun to face Sirius, who sighed and uplifted his hands, showing the half-healed burns.

_"He just grinned and told me to get to the study. My mother placed Petrificus Totalus and the Tormentis on me, and she placed every curse listed here and more. She broke bones, rehealed them, and broke them again. The Cruciatus was used, "over 20 times." James says I'm lucky to be sane."_

Sirius was attacked by a three-Marauder tackle hug, and he squirmed around a bit, and asked, "Will you let me go?'

"Nope. You've got a neglected childhood to make up for." Said James. Peter was sniffling quietly.

"Aw, Pete, don't cry!" said Sirius, looking a little teary himself.

"I c-c-ca-can't h-he-hel-l-p it." Sniffled Peter. "The thought of- of any of you being in pain like that-' Tears streamed over his face. Sirius fidgeted so he could hug him. Older Sirius was glaring at them.

"Pete, calm down. I'm fine now. Really, it's just because Mrs. Potter is overprotective that she won't even let me leave the bed."

"You're still staying here." Said Remus.

"Guys, not that I'm not cozy but can we just get this journal thing over with?" asked Sirius. James plucked himself back up, and proceeded to read.

_Other than the Cruciatus, there were other curses too. They were pretty awful. _It stops here." Sirius shrugged a bit.

"Nothing else has happened yet."

"You sound like you're expecting something to. Sirius shrugged again.

**A/N- Do leave a review on your way out.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Don't get mad- I love Sirius!**

**PLUSPLUSPLUS- I'm prewriting another Harry Potter based story, and I need a beta willing to edit OVER 100 PAGES SO FAR of fanfiction. I won't release it until it's complete, so you have that to look forwards to. Plus, no wait, since it's done! So, yeah, recommend a beta to me!**

Harry looked around in confusion as another memory came. They were sitting in the Three Broomsticks, Sirius and James glaring away from each other. Remus was reading a book, glancing at the two occasionally. Peter was at the bar, chatting with Madam Rosmerta. Remus shut his book with a snap, and said, "Look, will you just get over it, James? It wasn't Sirius's fault that Lily tripped onto him."

James let out a huff. Sirius stood, and said with a sigh, "I'm headed to Zonko's. See you guys later." Sirius stalked off, and suddenly, a rush of black robes swirled around, and Sirius hit the ground, staring up at his attacker. Bellatrix leaned over him, and flicked her wand dispassionately towards the alleyway, where Sirius flew. His head hit the ground with a thud that made Harry flinch. She poised her wand on him, and said, "You're a disgrace to the pure Black name. You should have suffered more, and I'm making sure of that. And then you're going to die." She laughed hysterically, and Sirius's eyes flared with pain. Harry gritted his teeth as he watched, Bellatrix giggling hysterically. Sirius's eyes finally shut, and he barely breathed. He heard a banging noise, and Bellatrix, whirled, hissed, and Disapparated. James was bolting to his side.

"Damn it, Sirius, I'm so sorry- move, talk, damnit!" He said. Tears were falling freely down his face. He scrabbled for his wrist, and pointed his wand at him, "_Finite Incantatem._' Sirius shifted, and James carefully placed him upright. Remus had come back, Madam Pomfrey with him. James stood, wiping the tears from his face, as Sirius was rushed back to the castle. Remus was staring out at the air, and the memory faded.

Sirius was resting, his eyes barely opened, and James was sitting next to him, while Remus was staring cloudy-eyed out of the window. They immediately leapt to their feet as Madam Pomfrey approached.

"So?" Asked James urgently. Madam Pomfrey's eyes flicked towards the fire, and said, "He's going to St. Mungo's. They'll have better care of him there."

Harry was pushed up to the surface, and he stared at Sirius.

"I was in St. Mungo's for two weeks. Bellatrix has had a vendetta against me since then. Remus took a while to get out of shock. He practically banned me from full moons until I was completely healed. I snuck in anyways. So, Harry, do you think that you could tell just me the rest? I won't bring in anyone else until you ask."

Harry hesitated, then said, "Could you just bring in the notebook?"

**A/N- Sorry it was so short- I have business going on. **

**BETABETABETABETABETABETABETA BETA!**


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! I JUST ENJOY TWISTING THEM AROUND! I AM NOT J.K. ROWLING!**

**A/N- Congrats to DonnaRose, the beta for the new fic, and I got a beta for this story- ferret assassin nin! You guys rock! Hope you all like the chapter! And, by the way, there's probably going to be only one or two chapters left. :(. **

Sirius cracked it open, and noticed that it only contained a few entries. He glanced at Harry, whose fists were balled up as his arms were crossed. His bright green eyes- _Lily's eyes_- stared up from James's face. He took a breath, and proceeded to read. This writing looked as if he was older, maybe 8 or 9.

_Journal,_

_I found this while I was shut in because Aunt Marge made me lose at musical statues on Dudley's birthday. I suppose not much has happened since then- weird things have happened, sure, and yes, I was punished, but nothing terrible as a broken bone. I know that it probably won't end soon in the future. I can't help but imagine someone will come- a distant relative, maybe- and take me away. It's silly, but there it is. Mrs. Terbble tried to get me to talk to her about the Dursley's, because she saw Dudley pushing me over and she saw some burns on my arms. She tried to call the police, but the Dursley's claim I'm an attention seeker. I'm turning 11 in a few weeks though. I feel like something important is going to happen. Something big. _It ended there. Sirius glanced at Harry, and said, "You expected something to happen then?"

"Yeah." He said. "I didn't know it would be this big, though." They sat together for a bit, and they finally got up to talk to the others.

"Harry, so glad you've come down, here, have some-" Said Mrs. Weasley.

"I'm not very hungry at the moment, thank you." Said Harry stiffly. He stalked off to his room, and she turned to Sirius.

"Sirius, what-?"

"I'm afraid that's between me and Harry, Molly." He said firmly. She frowned, and turned back to the kitchen. Hermione looked at him hesitantly, and said, "Is he okay?"

"Perfectly. He just needs to think a bit." Said Sirius. Hermione bit her lip and nodded, finally departing. Sirius sighed, and hesitantly went into his old room. He faced the picture of James, Remus, Peter, and him, and said softly, "James, I'm so sorry. I failed you. I failed Harry. I know you'd tell me it wasn't my fault, that it was Peter's, then you'd storm off after him to hex him. Like you used to whenever he'd say something stupid to Remus or me." He sighed, and leaned on his hand near him, biting his lip.

"I thought I was the only one that did that." Said a familiar voice. Sirius whipped around gleefully, saying "Moony!" as he did so. Remus twitched his head towards the study, and Sirius followed.

Remus then proceeded to hold out some chocolate. "Eat." He said. Sirius smiled, muttering, "Chocoholic," as he took it. Remus waved his wand, and tea came pouring into two cups that appeared, Remus pushing one into his hand.

"Trust me, Sirius, I know exactly how you feel. I spent more time in his company before you, and I practically beat myself with the knowledge."

"You could tell?" He said intently. Remus said softly, "He was acting a lot like you did. About the Dursley's, I mean. Except he didn't call his aunt "harpy"" He added dryly. Sirius chuckled, and said, "I'm telling Dumbledore that I want custody."

"Sirius, I'm not sure if that's-" He began, but Sirius waved a hand.

"I'm not going to let him stay there." He said firmly. "As you might recall, a year earlier wouldv'e done me a lot of good." Remus looked down at his tea, and sighed, "Honestly, you two are so alike, but so _different._ It's like Lily all over again." Sirius nodded slowly, and finished the rest of his tea, standing.

"Thanks, Remus." Was all he said. But Remus understood.

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**A/N- I apologize this is so late- I was waiting for my Beta to edit this, but they haven't responded. Maybe this will help?**


	15. THISNOT NEW, READ IT ANYWAYS

**Why hello there. I'm sorry that I got your hopes up, but this is IMPORTANT. I NEED YOUR INPUT. Leave a review with a response.**

**I, originally, was going to have this story be a one-shot, but then I realized all the directions it could go. Two choices-**

**1. It ends after a few more chapters- AKA, Sirius dies/Average canon.**

**2. AU- Sirius could claim custody of Harry by plot devices I shan't reveal here. **

**3. Random option- PM me with any ideas you have.**

**AND I AM MAKING A COMPETITION! This is for my new story, not this one, and this is one of the only hints you get. The deadline is September 30.**

**I need a Marauder-esque nickname for a tigress. That's all I need. But, since I need it so desperately, if you give me a satisfactory one, you shall receive one of the following prizes! If you submitted one I like, but don't choose, than you will get a shout-out.**

**A. A one-shot, any way you'd like, with only a few exceptions.  
(If you want a romance thing, there are restrictions on the pairings I can make believable. No OCs.)  
**

**B. Me, beta'ing a story of yours.  
1. I realize that this won't be many people's first choices, but hey- if you want me to Beta, PM me!**

**C. A plot twist/introduced charecter/ other thing inserted into this story as long as it's no outrageous.**

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**To cap up- I need your opinion on where the story should go, and tigress Marauder-esque nickname competition. The deadline for the nicknames is September 30. Prizes listed upwards, and if you get an honorable mention, you get a shout-out.**

**START REVIEWING PLEASE!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N- Well, I think I'll let the contest continue. None of the names really fit- but there were several that I thought were fantastic. Just keep going. And a lot of you want something certain to happen- but I won't push on in this chapter. We're going to see some of Dumbledore in this chapter.**

**Please don't murder me for not writing for so long. On the bright side, in my pre-written fanfic, I have hit 100 CHAPTERS. ONE. HUNDRED. And I'm not even NEAR getting done.**

**You will have the length of a Russian novel by the time I'm done. Hope that makes up for my terrible timekeeping now.**

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**Sirius stepped out of the fire gracefully and glanced over at the venerable, silver-haired headmaster.**

"Albus, I must insist that you read this," he said, tossing the journal onto his desk. "I'll have you know, I am not very pleased."

Truthfully, Sirius was furious at the old man. It was all he could do not to start using several of his spells from his school days on him. Dumbledore read and bowed his head.

"I never knew," he said softly.

Sirius slammed his hand against the desk and hissed, "Why did you never check on him?"

"He'll get out of there, Sirius-"

"I want to take custody," he said firmly.

Dumbledore glanced up at him, looking shocked, and said, "Sirius, you are an accused criminal-"

"I can do blood-adpotion," he begged. "I'm doing it whether you like it or not. Harry won't go back there."

Dumbledore sighed, and said, "I cannot stop you." Sirius nodded briefly and stepped back into the fire. He exited to see Remus looking apprehensive.

"So," he asked.

"I'm still not pleased with him," Sirius growled, but added, "I will. I…I just need to ask Harry."

Remus smiled, and reassured him, "Of course he'll say yes." Sirius took a deep breath, and nodded.

During dinner, he was so jittery that he spilled his water three times. He took a deep breath before he took Harry aside.

"Harry… would you like live with me?"

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**DANG YOU WRITER'S BLOCK. But I SWEAR I will have the next chapter up soon.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N- Okay, I have been seriously neglecting this in favor of my other, GOING-TO-BE-PREWRITTEN fanfiction… Guys, it's more than 200 pages long. Like, closer to 300. I might be adding another one along to that, because I find prewriting is better for me. **

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"Yes," blurted out Harry. "Of course, Sirius. How are you going to get permission from Dumbledore-"

"Done," said Sirius proudly. "It'll be able to be done very quickly. Just have to give these vows, a drop of blood." He held out a black leather book, and Harry took it.

"Read it over. I don't want you rushing into this." Sirius's heart was thumping unsteadily, and Harry nodded. Sirius went to his office, where Remus was waiting.

"He said yes," Remus beamed, and shoved a small glass of firewhiskey into his hand. Sirius downed it swiftly, and he blurted, "Remus, what if I screw up?"

"Well, you can't screw up worse than your parents." Pointed out Remus logically, sitting down.

"That's just it, though," he said glumly. "I didn't know proper parents until I met the Potters. I don't know how to raise a kid, Moony!" He said, making to pour himself another shot. Remus grabbed his hand, and said, "The nightmares." Sirius sighed, and laid down his hand. He had tried alcohol, to keep the now rare dreams of Azkaban at bay, but it had just made them disgustingly vivid.

"Two shots won't hurt me, Moony," he pointed out, finally grabbing the bottle and pouring a shot. Remus let out a huff, and said, "When's the ceremony?"

"As soon as Harry wants it to be." He muttered, shuffling off. Remus called after him, "Molly's going to talk your ear off!" Sirius let out a puff of air.

Harry leaned against his pillow, reading about blood adoption. If the guardian died, it would be transferred to the previous guardians. All he had to do was say, 'I do,' after each vow Sirius said.

His trial went well, two days after that. Harry decided to have the ceremony the night before he returned to Hogwarts, and it would be held quietly- they wanted it kept secret until Sirius's crimes cleared.

And so they stood in the center of the room, Remus there as witness. Harry, quite honestly, could not have told what exactly happened- he had managed to say "I do", and squeezed his finger to drop the blood. A white fog erupted from it, and Harry dropped to the ground, unconscious.

He awoke the next morning, in his bed, and crept to Sirius's room, mumbling, "Did it work?"

"Yep," said Sirius, stifling a yawn. Harry nodded. "Good."

"I should have warned you- a spirit talks through you if it grants permission. Sorry." He said, inhaling the steam of tea.

"No, no, it's fine. I'll just- I'll just go up to bed, then." Mumbled Harry; he still felt exhausted. Sirius nodded exhaustedly, and said, "Get some sleep before you head to Hogwarts." Harry nodded, and headed out.

And Padfoot snuck out with them.

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**Well, I broke my promise. Life just got really insane. But hey- I broke 300 pages on total amount of fanfiction! Yay!**

**If you could keep doing the contest, I will love you. Remember the choices!**


	18. Chapter 18

The months passed by slowly for Sirius. December was approaching, and, therefore, Christmas. When he awoke one night to Phineas Nigellus, he felt a small amount of happiness at seeing Harry again.

When Harry cornered him, he attempted to comfort him the best he could.

One night, before they returned to Hogwarts after the new year, he saw something on Harry's hand. He led Harry to the cellar, and flipped over his hand, and stared up at Harry.

"Who did this?" He asked viciously.

"Umbridge," murmured Harry softly. "Sirius, it's nothing-"

"Nothing? _Nothing?"_ he hissed. "Harry, Curse Quills are illegal, and that she used it on a minor-" Sirius took a deep breath, and said, "Get to bed." Harry glanced at him oddly, but departed.

Sirius stepped through the fire of Dumbledore's office again.

"Albus, she is cursing him! And you say you can't do anything?" He demanded.

"I have been trying, and will continue trying, Sirius," said Dumbledore haggardly. Sirius nodded briefly [and stepped through the fireplace] but told Moony, [who was sitting the library waiting], anyways.

."Well, we know she's crazy," said Moony, shrugging. "Look at what she's done to werewolves." Sirius scowled deeper.

Christmas passed, and soon Sirius was alone again.

Sirius was beginning to go crazy in that hated, hated house. He didn't hear much word from Harry… but he had to be alright. They were going to be a family.

Right?  
By the time Harry's O.W.L.'s must have passed, he was going insane.

He heard an pained squawk. Sirius looked up quickly, and entered the room to see Buckbeak.

Buckbeak was holding is wing close to him, and Sirius quickly bowed, beginning to bandage it.

Buckbeak had fallen asleep by the time Sirius left the room. He was fond of the old hippogriff.

It was looking to be a dull evening until Snape burst into the Headquarters, explaining everything, and snarled, "Hurry _up, _Black!"

Dumbledore assembled some of the Order. Sirius was overjoyed at the prospect of _finally _leaving the house. He was, of course, worried about his fairly recently adopted son, but Harry was going to be fine. They were all going to be fine…

Little did he know, Harry would be screaming at Dumbledore about his death hours later.

And Harry was forced to go back to the Dursleys.

Dumbledore never managed to intervene.

And that was the great secret of the Boy Who Lived. He had managed to have three guardians, all of whom had abandoned him in one way, whether it was through death or abuse.

Harry was fine eventually. As Sirius hoped.

But Sirius wasn't, and he never would be.

* * *

**And there it is. Thank you all SO MUCH for sticking with me this far. I'll answer any questions through a PM.**

**THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to my marvelous Beta ferret assassin nin. The stories are fantastic, please go and read them!**

**So... yeah. Oh! The incredibly secret fic I've been working on? FINISHED. I'm just editing. I'll probably start posting... well, I'll let you know.**

**Thanks again! **


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